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Photoshop Fanboyism

January 6th, 2009

As a web developer I can really appreciate a well designed website (very much unlike this one). The drawing tools available have made it possible for creative minds to invent some very attractive designs.

Unfortunately some of these tools allow even the most colorblind web junkies to feel like an artist. Adobe Photoshop, in particular, is especially guilty of this. Evaluating the name Photoshop clearly indicates that it is meant for editing photos. Sure, you can make some slick designs if you’ve got a creative edge in you. The ones that missed the talent bus are particularly skilled at using the Filter menu. Yes, you are now an abstract artist thanks to the Gaussian Blur tool. Congratulations.

If only there were a tool that didn’t allow such easy manipulation. You know, something that forced you to make a shape or two before letting the Filter menu spoon feed you creativity. Unless you’re a mental midget, there’s really no need to pick the low hanging fruit on this one.

A better idea would probably be to try out some drawing programs such as Adobe Illustrator as opposed to the painting (like paint by numbers) programs such as Photoshop. They will force you to make lines and shapes and designs. You’ll be starting from scratch instead of enhancing a preconceived piece of art. The nice thing about drawing programs is that they generate vector graphics instead of bitmaps. The difference is that vector graphics are mathematically derived using lines and color fills whereas bitmap graphics are calculated on a per-pixel basis. The vector graphics can be resized indefinitely without distortion while the bitmaps are constrained to each pixel relying on its neighbor to help define its identity.

Out of the few things I learned from high school art class, and I stress few, was the most important distinction between art and crap is detail. Well, no shit. But what I really mean is that you can add things to a picture and enhance it or you can add things to a picture and degrade it. Remember the old saying, “Garbage in, garbage out!” Details are what will enhance it and clutter will degrade it. A lot of people confuse details with small things placed randomly throughout the picture. No, details aren’t just small things. They are there to make what’s already there better. They are the icing on the cake so to speak. They are the buttons on the coat. They are the… details! Generally they should make people notice that something is different but not be able to put their finger on it.

An interesting way to illustrate this concept is to imagine an abstract scene of shapes and lines. It does not have to represent anything other than art. It is abstract after all. If you told someone to add something to the image they would either add another object to the image or they would add detail to an object already on the image. Which one do you think would be better? Usually adding detail will be the wiser decision. It may seem obvious but you would be surprised how many times I saw the poor choice taking place. When you use Photoshop you seem to end up with more filtered images with less detail. Good artists know what they are doing but the larger majority do not.

Look at it this way, if you’re trying to, uh, illustrate something such as a logo, layout, or icon you will probably want to use Illustrator. If you would rather remove the red-eye from the photo of your kitty, Mrs. Buttersworth, than you will definitely want to use Photoshop.

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    Only 68 Diggs and Down Already?

    December 13th, 2008

    We all know the feeling when you see an article, comic, picture, video or website that piques your interest on Digg and when you go to click the link you see nothing more than “Server Unavailable” in big, black text. As if that isn’t annoying already, you then start looking at the comments to find a mirror. If that isn’t difficult enough to begin with, you have to read the same fucking comment over and over again: “Only 68 diggs and it’s down!!!!?!!”

    Thanks very much, Sherlock!

    The issue with seeing that comment so often is bothersome because it insinuates the idea that Digg users have not surpassed a point of being mentally handicapped. You see, somewhere along the line, these Diggers got it in their heads that the number of Diggs was tightly correlated with the number of views. Here’s the problem with that logic. If you view the page, video, porn, comic, penis, or whatever and you decide that you don’t like it, you do not Digg it. Therefore there has been one view and zero Diggs. See how this works?

    Well, as you might have come to realize over the last few years, an article hitting the front page is drastically different than it being near the front page or even in the upcoming section. Once it hits the front page there may literally be only seconds before thousands of people are frantically making page requests to that server. Not only is it unreasonable to think that everyone should have a Digg-proof server but it’s also unreasonable to think that once it hits the front page, everyone will actually see the content.

    For instance, if this blog hits the front page, it will very likely crash immediately before anyone gets the chance to Digg it. So it may be sitting on the front page for a while and meanwhile nobody can even see what the hell it is. Eventually a mirror may pop up and the Diggs may slowly start rising but until then the Digg count is dead in the water.

    The moral of this story is that Diggs and site visits aren’t correlated so shut the fish up.

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      Don’t Make Monies Online

      December 9th, 2008

      You know what really grinds my gears? Those goddamn links that force your browser into an endless dance of someone swinging their dick around in circles to the tune of You Spin Me Right Round by Dead or Alive. The latest implementation of this abomination is www.makemoniesonline.com. Fortunately, I’ve been tricked into clicking this damn thing so many times that I’ve become an expert at quickly closing the browser without ending the task forcefully.

      I use Firefox and so should you.

      When your browser starts flailing homosexually around your screen, follow this list and you should be safe from the dreaded dick roll:

      1. Make sure the browser window is in focus
        • Using alt+tab is the easiest way to do this when the window keeps jumping around away from your mouse
      2. Immediately press Ctrl+F4
        • This will attempt to close the current tab that is open, which is the swinging dick of course.
      3. Hold Enter or Escape
        • Usually a Javascript alert will appear and will continue to be on your screen until you get through the entirety of the song or whatever is happening. The last popup will be a Continue or Exit screen usually. If you hold down Enter or Escape, one will keep you on the page and one will close it. It usually changes, so its easiest to just hold down one of the keys and if it works, good, if not, then hold down the other when it starts over.
      4. Be careful for “clicking” the link again
        • When you hold Enter to close all of the alerts, sometimes the page will close, only to take you back to your previous page where you clicked the link. If this happens, the link will probably be in focus while you’re holding down the Enter button. This case will bring up the link again and you’ll have to start over. So if you see this happening, you can hold Enter for a while and then slow down and go one by one towards the end.

      Good luck. May your days be dick roll free.

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